GWAR

Mr. Smalls


So every year for the past fifteen years or so, I say I am going to see Gwar, and every year the tourdate comes and goes and I never buy a ticket. This year was different.

This was my first time to Mr. Smalls, which didn't stop me from knowing a bartender. (My party trick is knowing bartenders at places I've never been to..but I digress). The place is an old church, much like Altar Bar, except that its slightly bigger, but also much less swanky.

Gwar had three openers. Why Gwar needed three openers, I don't know, I guess they are just good samaratins and let bands ride their coattails for exposure. The First band, Dethlehem, was dressed in bad renfest knight outfits, but they rocked pretty good. The second band, Mensrea (we didn't know if they were Mensrea or Mobile Deathcamp at first) was pretty bland, but kept the mosh pit going while my friend Scott and I hung out around the bar. Mobile Deathcamp was a speed metal trio out of Toledo. I knew this because in between songs the front man would say "Mobile Deathcamp, Toledo Ohio. Mobile Deathcamp, Toledo Ohio. Mobile Deathcamp, Toledo Ohio." They prompted the comment, when did long hair and drum music become bald guy with beard music. Gwar finally came out and let loose their fury, and blood fountains on the crowd. Oderus offered his condolences to the city for the Steelers not being able to win the World Series. They killed Sarah Palin to Vlad the Impaler, and played Maggots somewhere in their set as well. So all was good.


Concert Highlight: Gwar bringing Lady gaga on stage to shoot blood from her tits. The real Lady Gaga only had a stupid fountain that cried blood
Concert Lowlight: The two bands in between Dethlehem and Gwar